A glimpse of God's Lavishing Love {the ultimate proud Parent}

After my babies were tucked in bed last night, my husband let me sneak away to go meet and snuggle my friend's baby girl who was just a few hours old.

I had been quite confused as to where I should park, but once I made my way into the cooridors of the hospital, a flood of memories came rushing back. It has been just 10 short months ago that I was at the same location to meet my baby girl. As I pushed the button and waited for the elevator to take me to level 2, my heart began to pitter-patter at the rememberance of that night/early morning.

I arrived at the maternity ward and on into my friend's room to marvel at her newest, sweet and perfect, gift from God. Babies truely are miracles.

My memories continued as I said my congratulations and goodbyes and walked the familiar hallways back to my car. I was overwhelmed with joy at the thought of one of my proudest moments...the moment the nurse put me in a wheelchair and the new miracle in my arms and she pushed me down the hallway to my recovery room. I remember the pride and joy I had when the hospital staff and passerbys would stop to get a glimpse of her tiny beauty. The pride and joy I had over her was not from anything she had done or was going to do...it was just simply because she was mine.

On my short drive home last night, I had a million thoughts [recaping the day] going on in my head....but, by the time I got to my drive way, the Lord left me with one lasting thought... That parade down the hospital hallway with my baby in my arms, must be just a glimpse of what God feels for us when we give our lives over to Him and we become His beloved child....not because of anything we've done or are going to do...but simply because we are His.

 

1 John 3:1

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

Half a year & a whole lotta cute

 

Joelle started sitting up on her own a few days shy of turning 6 months. That day, I was getting her dressed and came across the blue and white outfit her sister was in the day I documented the same milestone. I thought it would be fun to take some pictures of Baby Sister to see how much they look alike. The resemblence is uncanny....so much so, that when I sent the pictures to Ryan, he couldn't even tell them apart!

 

 

 

Joelle @ 6 months is....

-LOUD...she likes to make her presence known with loud {happy} screams :)

-A good eater...starting to take a bottle and eat some purees

-Playful...she loves nothing more than for her sister to be rolling around on the floor with her

-A thumbsucker

-CRAWLING...which has lead to her new love of electrical cords and shoes

-Teething!...but no teeth yet {lots of drool and gnawing on her favorite teether}

-A perfect addition to our family!!

"Joelle-y"

Ponderings of a Tired Mommy

Rough Night.

My sweet second born's sleeping schedule was like a dream the first 4 months of her life. The Lord must have known that I needed good sleep those first few months of transitioning into being a mother of two.

We hit the 6 month milestone a few days ago and it's been two months since I've had a full night of sleep. I'm not really complaining...really. ;) But, last night was a particularly rough night. As I type this, it's approaching 6 am and the sun has yet to come up. My baby girl, who has caught the family's cold, has only been back to bed for about 15 minutes after a night of being up every hour or so and up for the day at 3am. I finally gave in and made myself a cup of coffee. The result...I'm wide awake pondering motherhood.

What was the big revelation of my pondering? It's hard. Yeah, I know...big revelation.

The moments right before I put Joelle back to bed this morning, I held the weight of her tired body in my arms as her little eyes fluttered to stay open and she finally gave up. I had an overwhelming sense of thankfulness for that very moment.

It's as if the pain of the night dissipated and I remembered it was worth it.

Here is a song that has really spoke to me recently. If you're a mom in a particularly difficult season of life too, take a listen. I hope it encourages you.

You're The Best Song I'll Ever Write- Bethany Dillon

 

This was the only youtube copy of the song I could find, but it cuts off the last part of the song...my favorite part. Here are the lyrics-

 Every prayer for you is like a seed in the ground
Every tear I cry is like rain
And in its due season
I pray a harvest will be found
Your heart and mouth confessing Jesus' name

Dear Audrey and Joelle-

Although I'm tired now, you're worth every sleepless night....

Love,

You're tired Mommy

For My Girl

I love the way you light up a room. You find the greatest joy in making other people smile and laugh.

I love that you are unashamed in your killer dance moves and singing skills.

I love that when I hold you (especially when you're tired), you instinctively take a strand of my hair and twirl it between your little fingers.

I love that you're a mama's girl.

I love the deep belly laugh you have...the one when your daddy is tickling you. Just when I think you can't handle it for another second, you ask for more. And your laughter continues to fill the room.

I love that you are so expressive. You have the cutest little face (even when you're not a happy camper).

I love that you would rather be outside in the sunshine playing in the dirt.

I love that you have become a cuddler in your toddler hood.

I love that you are kind-hearted.

I love watching your face light up when daddy comes home from work and you run to give him 'lovins.'

I love that you'd rather talk to your stuffed animals than play with your dolls.

I love that you are determined and opinionated. Especially when it comes to shoes and clothes.

I love your sweet piggy tails (when you keep them in).

I love that you're most favorite thing to do is color. I used to dream of coloring with my girl one day.

I love that you are turning into quite the manners girl..."peez," "tank yoo," "es yoo (for sneezes),"" yoo ah-kay?" have become a part of your little vocab.

I love watching you and daddy play Legos together.

I love that you have started calling people "honey."

I love that you are a little social butterfly.

I love that you're a bit sassy...sometimes. ;)

I love that you love edamame and avocados.

I love your unwavering spirit (some may call it a stubborn streak ;)) But, I pray that it translates into an unwavering commitment and relationship with Jesus one day.

I love that Tangled is your favorite movie and you want to watch it. every. day. ;)

I love watching you learn and discover new things everyday.

I love that I already know you are going to be a wonderful big sister to your soon-to-arrive little sister.

I love that I still have a few short months to be just Audrey's mama....trying not to take this time with you for granted.

And I love that this journey we have been on together for the past two years, has taught me so much about God and how He loves me (and you) with an unconditional love...just as I love you.


My sweet baby girl.... You are such a Joy and I'm so thankful I get to be your mama. And I love you always and forever just for being YOU!

Happy Happy 2nd Birthday!!

Grace Covers Me: A relatable read for me

Man, how I wish I would have found this blog several years ago! I read this post this morning and had to chuckle, because it describes our first year of church planting...nearly bullet point for bullet point. There is some great encouragement to be absorbed from this blog as a whole, not only for church planters' wives but for anyone with a man in ministry...fulltime or not. Check it out!

Ch ch ch changes....

It was around this time two years ago, that I was facing one of the biggest transitions of my life. Well, several actually.

I was about 3 1/2 months pregnant (VERY nauseous), working full time, packing up our condo, and saying goodbye to my husband who was headed north to start a job that we had been praying for. I would be making the journey up to Oregon to join him in the following month.

There was so much unknown and so many emotions that came with that unknown....excitement, anxiety, hope, fear, etc. etc. And, of course, pregnancy heightens every emotion.

My husband (along with my father-in-law), had been given a vision and a passion to come back to their native home of Oregon and plant a church in the heart of Portland-one of the most unchurched areas in all the U.S. While I didn't necessarily feel the same passion or have the same vision, I was on board. I knew God was calling us to take a step of faith and move in obedience. We didn't want to look back on life and ask, "what if." What if we had missed out on something that God was doing and giving us an opportunity to be a part of.  So, along with the rest of my husband's side of the family, we took the leap and God met us on the other end. He made a way through provision of jobs and housing.

Fast forward two years later, we have since closed the doors of our little church plant, PDX Bridges and  our little family of 3 are going back home to Arizona. There are a still a lot of unanswered questions we all have...Why didn't it work? What could have we done differently? God, did you really call us up here in the first place? And while we may never get all of the answers on this side of eternity, I can say with 100% confidence, that these two years have not been in vein and there is blessing in following God in obedience...no matter the outcome.

In these two years, there has been a lot of suffering. Not in a "I'm a victim" sort of way, but the kind of suffering that comes from being humbled. Pruned might be a better word. Yeah, that's the word.  I have wrestled with doubt, depression, loneliness, selfishness, pride, envy...just to name a few things; All the while navigating through this new role of motherhood.

There is A LOT of rain up here in the pacific northwest, but in many ways, I have felt like a tree planted in a desert, desperate for some living water...the opposite of this tree.

You may be reading this thinking, "well, that doesn't sound like a blessing," but let me tell you, I would not trade this season of life for anything. This is probably the farthest I have felt from the Lord, but the nearest I've SEEN Him.  People, I am telling you, God is so faithful. In spite of all our crap (for lack of a better word). He loves His children so so much and it is absolutely 100% unmerited. God has provided for us in miraculous ways and lovingly been disciplining me to bring me to maturity...

As I'm trying to wrap my mind around the events that have transpired this past month (and even these two years) I can't help but stand back in complete awe of the sovereignty of God.  It's great to make plans for our lives and I believe that God wants us to have plans and not stay stagnant in life, BUT things can change so quickly...things that we could have never planned or orchestrated ourselves.


My brother-in-law said something to us recently... He said, "A month after you get to Arizona, you're gonna think, wow, we miss so many things about Oregon." I know He's right. We are leaving a lot behind. Our family (Ryan's side) including his grandfather that has become my grandpa, my best friend, Audrey's best friend and cousin, green, sweet sweet friends that have supported us... just to name a few things.

But, I'm ready to close this chapter. I'm ready to go back home with a new perspective and appreciation for all that we left behind 2 years ago. We needed this time away. We thought we were coming up here for one thing and got so much more.

There is so much more I could say.... even just about Bridges. I'm sad that I didn't blog or journal more. Maybe I will now. Not to pine over the past, but just to share things I've learned. We'll see. :)

For now, I'm just so thankful. Thankful that God is Sovereign and I am not.

Modge Podge of crafty Happiness...

So one of my favorite blogs I've been following is Simple Home Loving... Emily, my bloggy friend :), recently posted about a Modge Podge (MP) project and asked if any of her readers had any fav MP projects and my heart did a leap! I LOVE that stuff...not in a "I sniff glue" sort of way, but like, this stuff is crafty awesomeness! 

My first experience with the M to the P awesomeness was over a year ago when the walls of my 4 month old daughter's room looked drab, to say the least. My local craft store had a display of these dark wooden letters Modge Podge'd with scrapbook paper. When I saw it, I was like, "I can do that!!...even in my sleep deprived, brainless, new mommy state!" I promise that convo only took place in my head. :)

I embellished the letters with some buttons, ribbons, and paper flowers. Here's how they turned out:



This was just a wooden block I found on sale that was begging for some MP magic!



............................................................................................................................................................ 

 Here's a couple more projects that I've been up this last winter...

At Ikea awhile back, I had snagged a couple,  3-frame packages of plain ol' unpainted 4x6 frames. They had been stowed away in the back of my closet until one particularly rainy, gloomy day, I was DESPERATE for something to do.

This first project was to remedy another blank wall in Audrey's room. I painted the frames with some extra wall paint I had (minus the pink one-it came like that) and just used some scrapbooking stuff I had to make some cute wall art.

......................

Same idea with this second project. My poor bathroom has been the victimized by my lack of decorating funds. haha. My Mother-in-law had bought me a really pretty shower curtain for Christmas, which was my inspiration. I painted the frames a tealish/blue color and then lightly ran some brown over in to add some texture. I printed out two verses on some velum paper that are good to read when I'm getting ready in the morning. :) And lastly, backed it with some pretty scrapbook paper. I really love how they turned out. :)

Also, I want to give a shout out to my other friend's new blog that I love to follow....Grace Filled Home!! Check it out! I so want to learn to sew now!!!

Lift Up the Light - Take Me In

CAN'T STOP LISTENING to this song!!


"...that I may know you and be known."- Is there really any greater desire of our heart?

A book full of sweet memories...

For Audrey's first birthday, I spent two weeks putting together this digital scrapbook of all the pictures of her first year. I seriously love how it turned out! I told Ryan that if we're ever in a fire (knock on wood), this is among the top items I'm grabbing on my way out the door!! Scrap booking is fun, but can be super time consuming (all though this was too), costly, and MESSY! This was a great alternative and I was still able to be creative. I really want to commit to consolidating pictures into an digital album every year for Audrey. I DO NOT want to end up with shoe boxes and computer files full of unorganized photos years down the road! lol.

Anyway...hope you enjoy taking a peek! ;)

Click here to view this photo book larger

Bloom where you're planted...

Randomly, my husband asked me last night when I was going to update my blog. I concluded two things from his statement... One: that means that he actually reads my blog. Two: that must mean he actually ENJOYS reading my blog. SO, here you go, Honey...I'm posting. :)

It appears that I update the look of this here lil' blog as much as I post. This particular background caught my attention because it's kind of symbolic of how I feel these days. Yeah, I know, I'm inserting a cheesy-analogy here. :) But, I do sort of feel like I'm a cluster of budding flowers...right on the cusp of blooming after a long, cold, colorless season.

But, in order to bloom, I've had to be pruned. That's what this season has metaphorically been. A bit painful, lonely, and super eye-opening to where I've falsely placed my identity and purpose and yes, happiness.


Truth is...this winter has gotten to me. This cold and rainy weather has lost it's enchantment. I was warned that it would, but I didn't think it would be this soon. I've been trying to take lots of vitamin D and get the baby out for a walk whenever the sun makes an appearance, and that helps. But, I'm just going to say it...I miss Arizona. I miss the sunsets, and wearing flip flops, and I miss my friends and my family and the WARMTH. I feel really lame for admitting that, but it's the truth and this is my blog and I can't paint a rosy picture all the time, right? :)

The Lord promises GOOD for His children and has not left us or forsaken us. From the second we (as people) are pruned, we are growing...and then one day some color starts to emerge and before you know it...life has morphed into a beautiful spring of Goodness.

It's on the horizon.

Well, honey, if you've meandered over to read this...don't you worry, I'm not depressed. :) I love our life together and I'm so thankful that I get to spend everyday with you and our girl. As we continue to press in to God and seek Him, I know we will find our Joy...come rain or shine.

And if you're a friend reading this and you reside in the sunny region of AZ...I'm flying south for a visit in a couple weeks!!! Gonna soak me up some rays....woohoo!!!

Oh and for the record...if I was gonna be a flower I'd want to be a sunflower or daisy...they're just such happy looking flowers. How 'bout you? What kind of flower would you be? Come on! Amuse me. ;)



-a post about a certain ADORABLE ONE YEAR OLD, to come soon!

Our Pumpkin in a Patch

It's no mystery to our friends that we were 'once upon a time' (when we had cable) fans of the show "Little People Big World." After watching an episode, it would leave us pondering how cool it would be to live in Oregon and raise a family on a farm...drive tractors, have a farm dog, hack down our own fire wood, etc, etc.

Well here we are living in Oregon and just a little over 5 miles away from the Roloff farm. As I stated in my previous post, I've been waiting for the day we'd venture out to partake in fall festivities such as pumpkin patch visiting. I've heard from many "locals" that there are some pretty cool pumpkin farms to visit, but there was little question that this first trip, we'd be taking the GORGEOUS scenic drive down Helvetia road to check out the

Little People's Big World. :)

haha...we got a kick outta this tourist' photo-op!

What is it about babies and pumpkins together? So darn cute!

The large line to the right was to meet and get a picture taken with Amy Roloff

We may not have walked away with any pumpkins of our own, but we saw a few Roloff sightings, a baby tiger and lion, and plenty of chances to capture some photo memories. I'm looking forward to next year's trip already!!

I've fallen for Fall

Fall is in full bloom here and it has brought with it some crisp air and a few rainy days peppered in with mostly sunny ones. LOVING it! I bought a few Mulled Cider walmart dollar candles, busted out the few fall decor items I have, and baked some pumpkin bars to celebrate! I have been waiting for these fall months literally since Audrey was born so we can start our annual family tradition of visiting the pumpkin patch! I'm hoping to go there in the next few weeks...I'll be sure to post some pics :)

Monday our little bean sprouted into a 9 month old! Speaking of sprouting...baby girl is rockin' a couple of teeth! Although the two chompers are just brand new, it has seemed to completely transform her appearance. She looks so GROWN UP! :( lol

The SIS (Sister in law) and I embraced the beauty of the day and took our littles out to capture their cuteness ....

LOOK AT THOSE TOOFERS!!

My little Nature girl


9 months is 'Tutu' fun!!




The little Ollie man


This little guy has the sweetest personality




Cousins


Only THREE MORE MONTHS till she's a 1 year old-CRAZINESS!!

Audrey is an absolute ball of energy! She's crawling, standing, and walking along the couch, at this point. She prefers to drink out of a regular cup (with our assistance) rather than a sippy and likes finger food rather than mashed baby food. Mamama and Daddaada are her favorite words. Sometimes I'm dada and Ryan is mama...but we don't mind. ;) We're still working on sleeping habits, but we're down to only one wake-up a night...I'll take it!! Her favorite thing to do: make everyone around her smile! And she's OH SO GOOD at it! ;)










Since I'm horrible about keeping up with my blog, here's a few pics from the past couple months:

We got back from a visit to AZ a few weeks ago: Lots of fun :)


celebrated cousin Ella's bday party at Pump it up...Audrey got to use her jumping legs and thoroughly enjoyed herself :)

random pic: my dad has a cedar chest full of keepsakes from when my brother and I were kiddos. One of our old sippy cups was in there. Oh how the time has changed and brought with it some improvements in baby products :)

With Phoenix having temps above the hundreds during our visit, we took whatever opportunities we could to let her cool off and enjoy playing in water. She's fascinated by it. It's the simple things in life. :)

My dad had a near death horse-racing accident just a few short months ago (suffered several broken ribs, broken sternum, two punctured lungs). PRAISE GOD he is alive and well. But he's still in the recovery process and suffers from some pain, but it didn't stop him from being a hands-on grandpa during our stay! Every chance he had, he was holding Audrey and entertaining her. One morning, I came out to the backyard to find him pulling her in his john deer wagon. It was Hilarious! You think she was on top of the world...she loved it! :)

Here are a few pics of Audrey at 8 months:

She had just learned to climb up to a standing position a couple weeks prior.

Showing off her new skillz

Sweet pea likes her some sweet potatoes

welp...if you've made it to this point in the ridiculously long post, thanks for reading and Happy Fall!

The summer adventures continue...

Saturday morning found us considering our options for the day. We wanted to get out of the house for a little adventure and sunshine so when we got a call from our neighbors/in-laws/best buds (aka...Shelley and Tyler) to join them on a mini road trip up to Mount St. Helens, we happily hopped on the caravan.

Audrey clearly is NOT impressed with the magnitute of the mountain...haha.






She does, however, enjoy her sunglasses. :)



Ty, Shelley, and Ollie

Ryan and Tyler had visited this A-frame cottage when they were just little tykes years ago. It sits several miles away from the volcano "blast" zone. The family that owned this place was days away from completing its construction when Mt. St. Helens erupted back in 1980. It survived a tree going thru it and was cemented in with a mixture of ash and mud. What was once probably meant to be a family oasis, has now become a little piece of history.

Sunday afternoon was a perfect cap to a great weekend. Some friends hosted a bbq for our little GROWING church! :)

BBQ+ music+fire+smores= good times

I've been dying for an excuse to put Audrey in these adorably adorable pink John Deere boots that she inherited from my baby cousin. Seriously doesn't get any sweeter!

loving the outdoors, yet again. I do believe she is an Oregonian. :)